Kubel heckling

masher hatin'...

RedDog, Naps big win on the golf course

In the weekend matchup on the golf course between the heavily favored KillahCraig and Tony Batista vs. RedDog and Naps, RedDog and Naps pulled off the upset with a 5 up win, shooting 72, even par, over 18 holes of scramble golf and Kings Walk on Sunday afternoon. The pivitol hole was the par 3 8th, where Naps hit a beautiful 5 wood off the tee to 15 feet and sank the put, while the eventual losers, KillahCrag and Batista, could only manage a bogey. The two shot swing gave RedDog and Naps a one shot lead which they never relinquished. A final 8 foot put on number 18 by RedDog gave the team a birdie and an even par round of 72. Dairy Queen blizzards were enjoyed by both teams after the match. Check back for information on future matches.

This might be the greatest Straightcashhomey.net I've seen in some time.

Fuckin Shinjo.
I hate Shinjo.

This was the cutline at straightcashhomey.net:

Tsuyoshi Shinjo, New York Mets: It appears this guy is writing a text. “Dude, show up in ur Kaz Matsui jer-z or I’ll look 2 stupid without u.” (Found by Greg outside Shea Stadium.)

In this guy's defense, I'd rather wear a Shinjo jersey than a Hideki Matsui jersey.

RedDawwwwwg

Click the title to check out my career stats. Pretty damn lucky to have me as a back up I'd say.

Comin' wit it

I've been telling Gardy all year that I need to get some ABs so I can mash like I did last night. I have 151 fewer ABs than your boy DY and have 2 fewer RBI and 6 more HR. I only have 29 AB in June...what have I done to deserve this? Remember when I basically won the game with the 3 run bomb against the Roy-Roys? DH or LF, get me in the damn game.

Gay Rod for gayest man in baseball!

Everyone needs to quit voting for Lew Ford for the gayest player in baseball. There is absolutely zero question that Alex Rodriguez is the gayest player in baseball. Any by gay, I mean suck cock, get done in the ass. Lew Ford might be the biggest douche in the league, but that is not the poll question. A-Rod is by far the biggest queer in the league.

Intelligent baseball conversation...

I think this must be what RedDawwwwwg and I sound like after about 19 beers when we start discussing sports.

Something else is official

Brian Buscher is a MASHER

Big Ticket finally wins something

Ya know, as pissed as I was when the T-Wolves traded away Ticket to the Celtics, I gotta say I'm happy for him. I've been saying for years that Garnett has been the best power forward in the league, but everyone laughs at me and says its Tim Duncan. I'm telling you, if they had traded situations, it would be Garnett with all the championships. I know that Naps is gonna disagree with me on this one--but judging a player's individual talents on TEAM achievements (i.e. winning championships) is wrong. Yes Tim Duncan is a great player, albeit the most boring player in NBA history (Fuck good fundamentals--he's boring), but Kevin Garnett now needs to be ranked right up there with him as he should have been all along. Congrats Ticket.

It's official...

The Natty Lights are about as bad as this commercial.

1985 Seahawks Locker Room Rock

Big Daddy Tice rockin' out in the locker room. #86 is comin.

And the Blue Wave is on a role!

Open Racism

Since Killa decided it was necessary to bring skin color into the topic of his post, here's a little tidbit on racism...

Damn Those 98 Vikes!

Damn you KillahCraig for reminding me of those god damn 98' Vikings. I was nearly over it until you brought it up again. Lets all make a toast to Gary Anderson the biggest choker in NFL history. I love you Gary. Thanks. Go choke on a cock.

Maybe there is a God

Joe Mauer just took the lead in voting for AL Catcher for this year's All-Star game. Mauer's lead is about 75,000 and will hopefully continue to increase. Justin Morneu still trails Kevin "I Take Lots Of Cock In My Ass" Youkilis for 1st basemen voting by 200,000 votes.
A guy on the comments section had a good point that might allow Morneau to take the lead and Mauer to maintain his. Is it possible that the Yankee fans will stack the vote for Morneau so no Red Sox will be starters? I sure hope so. Voting ends July 6, so time is running out.
On another note, I had a StraightCashHomey.net sighting today. I was cruisin' down University and see a guy walking with an Indian chick with a faded out purple #7 Randall Cunningham jersey. I bet this guy goes Three Deep just like the '98 Vikes, but in his case only 3 inches deep in that nasty Indian puss....gross.

Gettin better

So earlier this week, I poohoo-ed the Twins sweep of the Natty Lights because Washington's play is as skunky as its nickname.
So as the Twins swept the D-Backs today, you'd think I'd apologize for my lack of faith and pat the Twins on the back.
Wrong.
I'm simply going to restate that the National League sucks.
Leading the National League West division is like being the tallest midget or being the best player on the Sacred Heart girls basketball team.
Arizona ran the bases like our old buddy Lew Ford, played defense like Tony Batista and handled Carlos Silva, I mean Livan Hernandez, like Luis Rodriguez.
The Twins have two series with Detroit, one with Boston and one with Cleveland before the All-Star break; I'll make my judgement then.
Until then, mash on Buscher, mash on.

How do you like your sweeps?

Maybe with a nice Philly cheesesteak?

Or how about with a scandelous call girl, shared by many a D.C. Senator?

Perhaps with just a little Arizon Heat mustard? It has just enough sweetness to its flavor to make it taste oh so delicious...

Personally, I think I'd love a night with another D.C. call girl this upcoming week. While we're at it, sweeps are pretty nice under the warm SoCal sun in the city named after a whale's vagina.

Yeah Boi

Paper or plastic?

How do you like your sacks?

Paper or plastic homeboy?

Not impressed

Did we just sweep the Washington Nationals or the Washington Generals?
Cause the Natty Lights certainly made the Twins look like a baseball-version of the Harlem Globe Trotters.
Just dominated. The Natty Lights played as bad as a Natty Light tastes.
The Twinks outscored the Nats 22-6, with seven players combining for 11 multi-hit games during the series. Twins starters went seven, six and eight innings in the three games.
Even Henry Blanco would've mashed in this series.
Another reason I'm not real impressed by the sweep? The National League sucks - proven by the White Sox destruction of the Pirates and the Roy Roys, yeah the Roy Roys, beat down of the Cardinals - both sweeps. St. Louis managed like four runs in the series off the always salty Royals pitching staff.
Now if the Twins beat the DBags next week . . . .

Tiger Woods is a pansy.

I'm Comin'!

click my title.

So I'm sitting around today, pissed off at Mike Lamb.
It got me to think the Twins are hexed at third base.
Sure, there was Gary Gaetti, but this is 2008, that was 1987.
Last fall, the Twins tried to tell us that Tony Batista can hit bombs. Not only did Batista not hit bombs, but he also sported a fruity twisted-trunk batting stance. Low batting average. Low cool points.
So then the Twins said at least our third baseman can play defense, here's Nick Punto. Six hundred head first slides into first base and the Twins made another change at third base.
Enter Mike Lamb. "Proven hitter. Just hasn't gotten a chance." No, Lamb sucks too and now we have another third baseman with a gay stance.
Think of the shitty third baseman we've put up with. Punto, Batista, Lamb, Denny Hocking, Terry Tiffee, Mike Pagliarulo, Ron "Coom Dog" Coomer, Dave Hollins, Scott Leius. Oh, and don't forget the Twins drafted Matt Moses as the next great Twins third baseman but when he couldn't fill his spikes in AAA Rochester he was sent down to AA New Britian.
Today against the lowly Natty Lights, the always-feared Matt Macri is starting at third base.
Do we really have to long for the days of Corey Koskie? Shit.

Twins Preview

The Twins send Livan to the hill tonight to face off against John Lannan of the Natty Lights. After playing 40 games in 41 days the Twinks had an off day yesterday and just ended a 10 game road trip 3-7 including a devastating sweep at the hands of Central division leader Chicago. Livan has been roughed up lately, not pitching past the 6th inning and allowing 46 hits in his last 4 starts. Hopefully after the off day, returning home to the Metrodome, and playing the lowly Nattys, the Twins can reel off a couple of wins and close in on Chicago.

Like I said...

Some real nice trim...

Link

Sir Sid

He might be a dick, but he can still pull some decent trim for a fat ass.

Link

A trip around MLB

The Seattle Mariners officially fired General Mangaer Bill Bavasi.

For anyone who watches the Minnesota Twins, though, Bavasi signed a letter of resignation back in December. (Look at Carlos Silva in that picture and tell me he's not saying something like "this is absolute highway robbery" between his teeth with that shit-eating grin). I can still hear Bert Blyleven saying "If Carlos can make his sinker sink....."

Oh, and another fat former Twin pitcher who liked to serve up fat meatballs made the news today. Sir Sid is done with the Rangers. Unlike his time in Minnesota, Ponson was actually pitching well in Texas. But apparently he's a big enough of an asshole for the Rangers to cut him loose (and remember, the Rangers have former crack addict Josh Hamilton and Malcom X, I mean, Milton Bradley). Sir Sid must really be a prick.

...............In completely unrelated news, the Yankees are going to have to hang out with their Wang out.

Lamb

Click on the title of this post to see what came up when I googled Mike Lamb.

Why the Twins are under .500

Kevin Slowey has more hits this month than Mike Lamb.

Hokie Joe flashin the guns

Joe Saunders pitched over seven innings of shutout ball tonight in the Angels win over the hostile and abusive Atlanta Braves. After being shelled for eight runs (including back to back to back home runs) in his last start against the Rays, Hokie Joe bounced back to his winning ways, allowing a mere six hits in tonight's outing. Yet another performance to add to his potential All Star Game starting pitcher r'epertoire. With his tenth win of the season, Colonel Saunders has been the leader of a pitching staff that has hoisted the entire club on its back and carried it into first place in the AL West.

There's one question though. Will this domination continue? Not just for Saunders, but Ervin "Black Magic" Santana, as well. They started the year battling for the fifth spot in the rotation, but because of injuries have both earned roles in the top five. Joe has been known to fall off a bit late in the season, which, if the Angels offense continues to be essentially dormant, could be detrimental to the winning ways of the team.

I guess only time will tell...

I always knew Miller was a singles hitter

Squints was pervin a dish pretty bad last night...too bad he doesnt have the power to hit it out of the park

Twins update

Boof Bonser sucks.


The Angels are comin!